Hi,

Tamara here :-)

In a nutshell why and how Ayahuasca came into my life.

 

As a little girl I already loved taking care of people.

When my father ended up in hospital with a heart infarct, I helped the nurses hand out coffee and liked to pretend I was a nurse. In my teenage years I went through many years of depression, I was on medication most of that time and had my fair share of therapy sessions trying to get off them, which I eventually did, but just I found the next thing to numb myself with to not have to feel the pain.

The passion of caring for people was still present so that resulted in me starting nursing school after high school..

After years of working in health care, I saw through the system and saw people getting sicker instead of better.

Another pill extra instead of looking at what actually made people sick. 

The cutbacks in healthcare meant that the time you could spend on people only became less and the workload increased.

I decided to stop.

My side job in the hospitality industry became my full-time job where I mainly acted as a social worker and everyone who came to my bar I tried to help with their 'problems'.

Not knowing how to protect myself, I became exhausted here too.

 

In the meantime I followed various (spiritual) courses such as reiki and mindfulness and did a yoga teacher training in Bali.

But I didn't dare to let my voice be heard and show myself.

An office job was to be my salvation! But life as a mother, entrepreneur ,employee (always working a job on the side) and caring for my son and my now terminally ill father took its toll. I ended up in a burnout.

A blessing in hindsight! I was forced to stop everything and look at myself.

To ask myself what actually makes me happy? Who am I? What is my purpose?  I lived my life for the good of others, but forgot to take care of myself.

Before I could ask myself these questions, there was a long time of darkness in which I didn't want to think at all and could only lay in bed and cry.

My relationship with the father of my son ended, I felt like a bad mother and not much better as a person. My life was in pieces... Through the books of Dr.Wayne Dyer I could see some light again and there I first heard about Ayahuasca. Only a few month later I found myself laying on a mattress at a center that facilitates Ayahuasca ceremonies, waiting for the effect of this 'jungle brew'.

The first time I drank Anahuasca, an ayahuasca analogue that also contains the active ingredient DMT (I didn't know this at the time). After drinking 5  (yes 5 !!!) glasses it didn't do much for me (I thought) and I was listening in disbelief to the most wonderful journeys of the others in space.

Once again I was the exception to the rule ...

 

The process started for me the next day!

I became aware of my busy mind and everything that was holding me back from fully surrendering.

My cannabis use was one of them.

A few weeks later a shaman from Peru was scheduled to come in and I decided to sign up to have this sacred journey with him.

A strict 6 week diet was followed, no drugs, no alcohol, no refined sugars or other junk that pollutes my body and mind.

I meditated every night and when the day of ceremony arrived I stayed 3 days instead of 1 day and my life changed completely.

It was also immediately clear to me that this was my path and that Ayahuasca had a bigger plan for me.

 

I was allowed to work with the shaman for 2 years and to travel to different countries within Europe.

I organized diets in Peru and in the meantime learned what I could about shamanism, guiding in and out of ceremonies and the medicine plants.

During the last retreat with the shaman I met a man with whom I shared my dream and visions of a retreat center and it turned out he had the same dream.

Everything accelerated and we soon had a plan.

The right location was not manifesting after 9 months of searching, but not without reason.

There was more to learn.

Soon I was back in Peru for diets with the medicine plants and then for the Shipibo Curandero Initiation course of the Ayahuasca Foundation.

8 weeks in the jungle where you make a connection with Noya Rao (flying tree) ,a mythical tree, a tree whose leaves glow in the dark. She has the energy of pure light (think of the tree from avatar).

Again a world opened up for me: I drank Ayahuasca every other day, Dieted 2 other masterplans, lived in a small hut, ate salt-free, sugar-free and vegetarian and left all stimulants, comforts and pleasures.

I learned from my maestro Don Enrique how to open a ceremony, how to strengthen and reduce the mareacion (visions) through Mapacho, Aqua Florida and the Icaros (healing songs of the plants) and how to close the ceremony.

The Icaros you learn are in Shipibo language, just as sacred to me as Sanskrit).

The words, if spoken correctly and in the right combination with the right intention, carry healing properties.

I am not the one who makes you better, I am just a channel for the plants and spirits that do their work through the Icaros, energy and vibration.

You have the biggest share in your own healing work.

The day the training ended in the jungle, I got the message that we had a location for our ceremonies. As if she was saying NOW you are ready to start the work.

We have been working at this location for a number of years now and I have seen an incredible amount of healings. I thank the universe and the plants everyday for allowing me to do this work and facilitate the space for people to heal themselves but also us and with that, the whole world. We are all one, born from love.

We also facilitate ceremonies at other locations in Europe, including Portugal.

 

The tribe is getting bigger and I am very grateful for the people who have come into my life and who are now part of a solid foundation (and who 'coincidentally' all have done the same tree Noya Rao dieta as myself). Thank you Noya Rao.

Very humble and grateful I learn more and more every day, every ceremony and I am still allowed to peel off layers of myself, watch myself grow and love myself more and more.

Life (with or without Ayahuasca) is one big process.

It is not about the destination, learn to love the journey!

 

Infinite love is the only truth, all else is an illusion.

 

Lots of love,

Tamara

                                                                                                                                                                                Picture: Noya Rao Tree